Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
