we have officially lost it.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
