her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
