they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
