Buhtt sex?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
