I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
