i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
