I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
