how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Randomize
