Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
farters have to be the big spoon...
Michael Bay diarrhea
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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