Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
nut hugger
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
