shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize