I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
