You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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