my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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