It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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