If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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