i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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