someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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