this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
