How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize