she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize