the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
