Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize