I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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