My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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