there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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