Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
