he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
