But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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