we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
