we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
