I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
