oh god the rape fog is back!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
