i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
