Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
