is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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