Got a toothbrush?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
