Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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