i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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