i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize