I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
