He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
