And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
