Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
