North Korea, Best Korea!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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