Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
