as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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