Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
