I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize