we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
