Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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