we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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