You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
