His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
