i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
