Cold hands, warm shart.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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